I got Dan beat! Mua-ha-ha!

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"Blue Like Jazz"

So I'm reading this book called "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller and it's pretty good. As I've been reading it, I've come across certain segments that have struck something in me and I've been writing the page numbers of those segments with pencil on the inside of the back cover so I could share them with y'all to see if they struck anything in y'all too.

"I believe that the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time" (13).

"We would eat chocolates and smoke cigarettes and read the Bible, which is the only way to do it, if you ask me. Don, the Bible is so good with chocolate. I always thought the Bible was more of a salad thing, you know, but it isn't. It is a chocolate thing" (47).

"My belief in Jesus did not seem rational or scientific, and yet there was nothing I could do to separate myself from this belief. I think Laura was looking for something rational, beause she believed that all things that were true were rational. But that isn't the case. Love, for example, is a true emotion, but it is not rational. [...] I have been in love, plenty of people have been in love, yet love cannot be proved scientifically. [...] Light cannot be proved scientifically, and yet we all believe in light and by light see all things. There are plenty of things that are true that don't make any sense. I think one of the problems Laura was having was that she wanted God to make sense. He doesn't. He will make no more sense to me than I will make sense to an ant" (54).

Not all these segments are seriously spiritually provoking; one in particular (the chocolate one) was more humorous, and the first one about wasting time caused me to stop and think. The last one about the rationality was also a cause to think and re-read and think some more.

I just started reading this book today but it's already caught my attention so many times. I think it's gonna be a pretty good read. And be forewarned- there may be another post on things I have read from this book that I need to share and get comments about. :)

so true, hope

We're all a little weird,

and when we find those people

whose weirdness is compatible to ours,

we join up with them &

fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and

call them our best friends.

~boy meets world

now here's a shocker.

as soon as i say this first sentence you're gonna know what this post is about.
i've always knew i wanted to be a mama.
see, i told you you would know what i was gonna talk about.

now seriously. ever since i was old enough to know that i had a vagina and boys had a penis and that i could in fact make and have my own baby, i knew i wanted one. and it only heightened that feeling that my mom was such a great mom. she helped me want to be a mama myself because of how great she was.

despite the fact that i am getting more excited about having a baby doesn't hinder my high level of responsibility. i know i can't have a baby right now and i'm not wanting one right now. responsibility outweighs emotion. i say this to reassure the people who may not trust my strength to withhold havin a baby now. and i put this paragraph here even though it doesn't fit in the flow of things because i tried puttin it at the end and it seemed such a depressing and undanessa way to end such a great post.

i am so excited about being pregnant. i am gonna be the happiest pregnant lady out there. i am absolutely positively anticipatin bein cute, fat and pregnant. and honestly the more i talk about it and think about it, the more i can't stop talkin about it and thinkin about it. i get this sense of euphoria when i think about rubbin my fat belly, singin and readin to her (or him), havin conversations with her, becomin best friends before i even get to see her face, havin her daddy kiss me and my belly when he comes home from work, leaning low to talk to her, tellin her how much we both love her. i'll have someone to tell secrets to that i know will keep them. :) and a friend always there for me to talk to when i just need to vent.

hopefully i'll have a pregnancy like my mom did with me. she had almost no if any morning sickness or afternoon sickness or any sickness with me. but my sister did make her sick but my brother didn't. that's two outta three. hopefully i'll have those odds. i'm not a good sick person- you can ask corey about that. but i'm optimistic- and that will prove to be in my favor; i will be a happy, not sick, happy happy strangely happy pregnant chic. cute happy pregnant chic. yes. yey.

Free-style, Free-fall

So I'm not sure what I wanted to write. I know I haven't wrote in a long time and one thing that I wanted to say about that was that it's hard to write when you feel no one reads or cares about what you write. That's the reason for the big break in not writing. I know, it's selfish.

Since I don't really know what to talk about in particular, I'll do what I used to do as a kid/teen to clear my mind of all the things I was thinking. I usually did it when I was angry or troubled about something but it'll work good for this too.

I got my money tree this weekend. It's so so pretty. I love it. I called mama and told her I had a tree going in my living room. She was confused but it lasted just a second before she realized what I was talking about.
I spent the last weekend with Hope (and Sam) in Knoxville TN where they live in an apartment right off the campus of the TN School for the Deaf. I have confirmed what I want to do as a career. I've always been fascinated with St. Rita's School for the Deaf and Blind in Cincinnati and when it turned out Hopie lives in a similar place, I was so excited. I can't imagine that job becoming boring, especially if it was a school for the blind and deaf. I could take classes (possibly supplied by the school itself) in sign to add to my already known vocabulary of about 300-400 words AND I could take classes to learn Braille and would have yet another way to communicate to those who are unable. I find all of this fascinating. Everytime I tell someone about it, I get way excited and can't wait to start a career in that field. I've already found the Virginia state's School for the Blind and Deaf- that's right, it's both!! Dang! I can't wait. That's a good sign, right?
But the weekend was wonderful. I got to spend quality time with 'my sister' and we had time to just be with each other. It was just what I needed.
So apparently we had a tornado alarm go off last night and we slept right through it. We woke up to what sounded like hail bouncing off the AC, saw a strike of lightning, then said Whoa and snuggled closer and fell back to sleep. But what I heard today was that some 40 people died last night. Wow. Even my little sister was evacuated to the basement of her dorm around 230. That's craziness. The wind is still enough to knock a person over today. But the windchimes sound pretty.

Dearest Nicholas,

I dreamed of you again as I often do. This dream, like the others, was so real that I woke up and couldn't do anything but stare. We were in love. But no longer the 14 and 16 year olds we were the last time we spoke. We were adults much like we would be now if you hadn't gone. And the detail that strikes me the most about my latest dream was when you called me, the caller ID read 'St. Nick'. And only now do I realize that maybe that was yours or God's way of showing me that it was in fact a dream, that you are still there in Heaven, a Saint, a child of God.

I'm sure you know that I miss you. I'm sure you know that I think of you often and wonder what my life would be like if you were still in it.

I could never apologize enough for not telling you how I felt and for taking our relationship for granted. Maybe that's the reason I'm haunted by such loving dreams of us and constant thoughts of how things might've been. I should have told you. I should have told you.

SNOW!

WE GOT OUR FIRST SNOW TODAY! and what's better is that they're calling for 1-2 inches tonight into tomorrow morning. You know what I'm saying- "Please no school! Please no school!"
Check it out! John and Laura, this is what you're missing.